Tit Monday

[farrelly]

Ah, Tit Monday. It's not that far off now, that glorious day when,
heading into work on the bus, or walking to the Dart, or sitting on the Luas, you find yourself suddenly chirpier than you have been in months. You find yourself smiling at strangers again. There is a mild involuntary
tumescence in your trousers that comes and goes throughout the morning with the comforting regularity of a heartbeat.
And then you get a text around lunchtime from a mate which says: "At
last, Tit Monday!" And you instantly understand why you are so happy. For
Tit Monday is that special day in the year when, for the first time, the
temperature rises above that magical point which causes girls getting
dressed in the morning to decide to show a bit of skin.
After months of dull colours and chunky knit, the world's birds
suddenly dive into last summer's wardrobe (they've not had chance to buy this season's stuff) and chuck it on without a thought. Your urban landscape is suddenly lightened with acres of naked arm and leg and, after many dark months of burrowing, breasts rising to the surface like moles at dusk.
Big breasts in white work shirts straining at the buttons. Small breasts braless in vest tops, the nipples frotted by ribby fabrics. Breasts in summer dresses bouncing in the distance so that they catch your eye before you even notice there is someone wearing them. Breasts nudging out from the crowd at traffic islands, quivering to cross the road...
And you know it is nearly summer. For previous generations, the arrival
of spring was heralded by the sound of the first cuckoo. For us, it is Tit
Monday.
Not that it always falls on a Monday. Like Easter, Tit Monday is a
moveable feast. Last year it fell on a Friday. Friday 29 April, to be precise,
when temperatures maxed out at 22.1C after nothing much above 16C all year.It last fell on a Monday in 2004, when temperatures leapt to 22C on 24 April. And then, of course, there is Tit Monday Night. You see, in early
summer, temperatures drop off very dramatically when night falls (Tit Friday 2005 dropped away to a parky 11.8C). But the dollies are not prepared. Slightly stunned by the morning heat, they drag out the summer clothes but forget to bring a cardie (a mistake they will not make again until next year), so that when they're all standing outside your local after work celebrating the arrival of spring, their barely covered nipples have no protection from the cold. It's like a Bring-and-Buy sale where everyone has brought hat pegs. It's like a prog-rock gig where, instead of lighters, everyone is holding up nipples.
So when will Tit Monday fall this year? Will you be the first to text
your mates with the announcement? Do not shoot your bolt too early. There wll be false starts. You will smell fresh cut grass and see a couple of early starters and feel compelled to declare Tit Monday. But your more
level-headed friends will tell you to hold your horses, keep your powder dry, don't fire until you see the whites of their bra straps.
As the poet said: one bold slapper in a bikini doth not a summer make.

[ItsTheEtalking]

haha, cant wait for tit monday, or how do u kno its monday, it could be a wednesday, u never kno


u hav way too much time on ur hands alan!

http://www.knobby.co.uk/

[Jay]

I've been preparing myself both mentaly and physically for this day for the entire winter. Hermatised myself for fear of a false start. I will not be one of the signatures on the declaration of "Tit Monday" but when it arrives, I will be there

[ronan_w]

i'm goin to mary's right now to get a cheap pair of shades for the occasion. (they can't press charges if they can't see your staring eyes)

[ItsTheEtalking]

speaking of some 1 with waaaaaaaaaay to much time on their hands

http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgurl=http://www.freetheflash.com/images_files/fat-asian-kid/i_poor_kid-3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.freetheflash.com/images/43.htm&h=370&w=370&sz=21&tbnid=FwYMuuz5KdrdnM:&tbnh=118&tbnw=118&hl=en&start=1&prev=/images%3Fq%3D%2522batman%2Bfat%2522%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26safe%3Doff%26sa%3DG

[farrelly]

wa hey!! i fucking love tits!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[P-Dog]

I love Tits,
But im more of a Bums and Legs man meself.

[Jay]

I reckon I wouldnt be a false starter if I proclaimed today Fridat 21st April TIT MONDAY !

[ronan_w]

definitely, i raised the aforementioned point with disko and daz in the college yesterday. it has arrived.

[ItsTheEtalking]

i wonder when its gona be this year....

[P-Dog]

The 16th of april Gary.........

F.A.C.T................................

[Judy]

Its Tuesday.
Same day as Bollox Tuesday!! When all the perverts come out. Lol

[farrelly]

tits

[Benny]

Paddy wasn't too far off with his call that it would be tit monday on 16th April.

And he said that in january.

Jay called tit monday a week or two ago and I think he was right (for once in his life).